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| So i have recently decided...recently as in today that i have a new found obsession with finding things for a new home, which i hope eventually to have. The resources here in the city are abundant (eg. THRIFT STORES) and i just get so thrilled at the isles of dishes, kitchen appliances, etc. Today i bought great curtains...i think they are beautiful and although i have no idea if they are going to fit in my future new house, i am quite pleased. I can't wait to live out on my own...share a home with a few other girls...build up my kitchen appliances supply, my bed and bath supplies, and of course my furniture. Then i figure if and when i ever get hitched, i will be quite prepared to make a move as stress-free as possible. I sometimes wonder if i'm getting way ahead of myself considering i'm living in the spare bedroom of my brother's house. But i suppose its never too early to prepare for life.....right? 
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| i walked into the store that i just started working at...it was my second week on the job and i was really getting into the usual system of things. i got to the door and the glass of it had been completely smashed in. as i walked inside, there were detectives, security people, and all sorts of important people scattered around in the store. i stood there in shock, not knowing exactly what to say or do in such a cluttered and emotional situation. we watched the robbers on the security tapes a number of times, each time i was hoping to discover or see something new and important that no one else had seen the other times. theres something about being in such a frustrating situation that makes you want to play some important role in finding clues and details and catching the criminals. i welcomed myself into the world of chicago, of crimes and of cheaters, liars, thieves, and just plain self-centered people. as i walk down the street i hope to still have trust for those who look suspicious but really may mean no harm. you just can't tell. so at night my mind is full...full of the pains of a lost love, pains of a confused mind, and the mixed feelings of the violation of personal property at my daily work place. but yet in spite of all this, i am ok. | | |
| so today nothing great happened except that i went to the store, started a painting, and had no work on a day when i should have earned 100 dollars. i'm sick. but its not bad to sit and not do anything.. emotions have been down lately. i feel so real and so free walking around the city alone, especially in the evening when the sun is going down and everything around you is bustling and hectic. and you can just stand on the side of the street smiling because you are so calm and worry-free inside. but then being here sick and cramped in a house because of the cold...it drags on you. life goes on and i'm thankful for it. | | |
| "A thousand times I've failed, still your mercy remains, and should I stumble again I'm caught in your grace. Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades. Neverending, your glory goes beyond all fame, and the cry of my heart is to bring you praise from the inside out, Lord my soul cries out. " | | |
| So its storytime now... sunday morning joah and i are driving to Church in the cold, snowy country. The roads were slick and icy, and the wind was bitter. As we neared the turnoff for the church, a small black object was spotted in the middle of the road. ... josh swerved around it and i looked to see what it was. when i saqw more closely, it was a black cat, trying desperately to drag itself off the road and to safety, but its legs were all broken and it was dying from the cold. i got all worked up about that and made josh drive all the way to the church and turn around so that i could help the cat. but when i got there, i realized that it was on its way to death already and there wasn't much that could stop that. so i told josh that we needed to turn around again and run over it, so that it wouldn't be in so much pain. i was sick to the stomach of course and was almost screaming as we came close to it...josh and i both couldn't handle it so we closed our eyes at the last minute! haha...we missed it. go figure, if you close your eyes while you are driving, you aren't going to aim right. sad... thats the end of my story. | | |
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